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Monday, April 18, 2011

Blow Your Nose!!!!! Live News blooper...

News Anchor needs to blow her nose before going live. Here is a live news blooper clip. Poor girl find her a Kleenex please

Jeez don't roll up your sleeves

THIS SENIOR CITIZEN NAILED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming, Co-Chair of Obama's deficit
commission, calls senior citizens the Greediest Generation as he
compared "Social Security" to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats.
August, 2010.

Here's a response in a letter from a unknown fellow in Montana...
I think he is a little ticked off!   He also tells it like it is !
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"Hey Alan, let's get a few things straight..

1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY
YEARS.

2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15
years old. I am now 63).

3 My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other
Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for
decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give
OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus
bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme
that would have made Bernie Madoff proud.

4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the
proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing
retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to
age 67.  NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the
goalposts YET AGAIN.

5  I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare
from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the
game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy
to such an  extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay
the bills.

6.  I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes
our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why?
Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that
you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come
to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay off YOUR debt.

To add insult to injury, you label us "greedy" for calling "bullshit" on
your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for
YOU.

1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during
your pathetic 50-year political career?

2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and
how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the
American taxpayers?

3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?

4.  What cuts in YOUR retirement and healthcare benefits are you
proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual,
have  you exempted yourself and your political cronies?

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators called
Congress who are the "greedy" ones.  It is you and your fellow
nutcases who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream
from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers.  And for what?  Votes.
That's right, sir.  You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole
purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers.  You know it, we
know it, and you know that we know it.

And you can take that to the bank, you miserable son of a bitch.

If you like the way things are in America, delete this.  If you agree
with what a fellow Montana citizen says,  PASS IT ON!!!!
This would change everything and should be retroactive!
 
No one has been able to explain why young men and women serve in the U.S. Military for 20 years, risking their lives protecting freedom, and only get 50% of their pay. While politicians hold their political positions in the safe confines of the capital, protected by these same men and women, and receive full pay retirement after serving one term. It just does not make any sense.
 
On Fox news they learned that the staffers of Congress family members are exempt from having to pay back student loans. This will get national attention if other news networks will broadcast it. When you add this to the below, just where will all of it stop?
 
35 States file lawsuit against the Federal Government
 
Governors of 35 states have filed suit against the Federal Government for imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38 (of the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention.
 
This will take less than thirty seconds to read. If you agree, please pass it on.
 
This is an idea that we should address.
 
For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform... in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop.
 
If each person that receives this will forward it on to 20 people, in three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message.. This is one proposal that really should be passed around.
 
Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution: "Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States."
 
You are one of my 20.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

911 Truck Amazing

The trucker's name is John Holmgren from    Shafer , Minn. He has been 'pulled over' numerous times just so the troopers can get their picture taken with the truck.

(scroll down to see the pictures)










KEEP THIS GOING SO ALL CAN SEE

Flour Burn Remedy

Impressive!  Why did we never hear of this before??!! I've always just run it under the cold water tap.
A woman's experience with burns . . ..

Some time ago I was cooking some corn and stuck my fork in the boiling water to see if the corn was ready. I missed and my hand went into the boiling water.... A friend of mine, who was a Vietnam vet, came into the house, just as I was screaming, and asked me if I had some plain old flour... I pulled out a bag and he stuck my hand in it.  He told me to keep my hand in the flour for 10 minutes which I did. He said that in Vietnam , there was a guy on fire and in their panic, they threw a bag of flour all over him to put the fire out...Well, it not only put the fire out, but he never even had a blister!!!!
... Long story short, I put my hand in the bag of flour for 10 mins, pulled it out and did not even have a red mark or a blister and absolutely NO PAIN.  Now, I keep a bag of flour in the fridge and every time I burn myself. *Cold flour feels even better than room temperature flour.
I use the flour and have never ONCE had I ever had even a red spot/burn mark, or a blister!  I even burnt my tongue once, put the flour on it for about 10 minutes ... the pain was gone and no burn.
Try it . . . Experience a miracle! Keep a bag of flour in your fridge and you will be happy you did! 
BTW, don't run your burn area under cold water first, just put it directly into the flour for 10 minutes.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Why sharks circle you before they attack

> Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking.
>
> Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a
> sunken ship.
> "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark
> and they swam to the mass of people.
> "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins
> showing." And they did.
> "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with
> all of our fins showing." And they did.
> "Now we eat everybody." And they did.
> When they were both gorged, the son asked,"Dad, why didn't we
> just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around
> them?"
> His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the
> shit inside!"

Snake eats lizard OMG

These pictures were  taken by one of the road crew members at Cloudbreak , Arizona last week. It took a  total of 5 hours for the Desert King Snake to  finish off the Goanna (Sand  Monitor). 
As you can see, they put some stakes with flag tape on them plus a hazard/danger triangle up to help keeping someone from running over them .Looking at the man then comparing him to both the Desert King and the Goanna the snake looks to be at least 8' and the lizard 5'.What do you think?
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NOW………THAT'S  A MEAL

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

old fart football

Old Fart Football 

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.' 


His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the 
world was that?' 
The old man replied, 'its fart football.' 

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and 
says ‘Touchdown, tie score.' 

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.' 

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 
'Touchdown, tie score.' 

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 
'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man. 

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. 
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally craps in the bed. 

The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' 


The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Cletus and Billy Bob

 
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door,
he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first
the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left.  He then hunches his
shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall
down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.  Then, grabbing
both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt
underneath.  With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and
hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck are you doing, Billy Bob?"

"Jeez, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously
embarrassed Billy Bob.  "But me'n the Ol' Lady been havin trouble lately in
the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do 'something sexy to “a tractor'."

[Don't make me come splain this to you!  ---Read the last line again, slowly--out loud.]

Your final resting place probably isn't going to be as cool as these


Have you seen anything like these resting places?
























MEXICAN  CEMETERY



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Friday, April 1, 2011

Perfect Video Game Soda Riot

Riot soda it's the soda that makes you Riot or fizz? This is the perfect video game soda! This is a cola that is sold at fresh and easy markets. It has a good cola flavor and an even better name so why go for lame store brands when you can go for this.